Date: Sun, July 22, 2012 7:30 pm (answered 25 July 2012) Ok, so i cannot believe i stumbled across your website tonight. Funny how it happened actually...i was doing a search on " is the vineyard a cult" and of course as i pages thru my results in pops "is aa a cult"....so I clicked on it and....it led me to YOU. I began to read...and read....and READ until my head began to spin actually. I a 45yo female who has been "sober" since August 12, 2011. I was introduced to AA again in May 2012 but my actual STOP date is 8/12/11. Anyway, for me....I have used AA to build a foundation for a different life. Now, I don't know if I would have ever had the STRENGTH to do what I have done alone...I mean, my husband (who I do not live with ) is actively drinking and I do not have a support system. The ppl of AA have helped me to see that I can do this...and the steps help with cleaning out all the stuff I did to ppl when I drank. I haven't finished the steps (actually am stuck on the AMENDS) ...anyway, I guess it confused me enough to send this email to you... The more I read your pages (that are so very complex and informative) I can see there is another side of the coin...not saying that you are right or AA is right...just I am seeing a different side. And I also see you have a large amount of documentation to support your thoughts (almost like an attorney getting ready to go to trial, very prepared and out for a win) which is very impressive. There is so much of your site that i have not even touched into that I will but for now I am most curious...like a child trying to find out if SANTA is really real...I just have to wonder WHY are YOU so into this? What are you hoping to achieve...were you done wrong at some level by AA and needed to tell others? I guess it is none of my business to ask such a question other than I was so wondering that when I was reading these pages...it just seems like you are SO MAD. (i could be totally off base). Either way, I appreciate all of the time and dedication you have for this...your passion screams out in your writings and I will continue to read what you have. And hopefully, I will continue to not drink. J Anyway, have a good day Kathy Fort Mitchell, KY
Hello Kathy,
Thanks for the letter and the compliments. And congratulations for your sobriety.
And yes, I try to be thorough.
The fact that people were nice to you when you came to A.A., and gave you encouragement and moral support,
doesn't make A.A. a good organization or an okay cult.
(In fact, that is the standard cult recruiting trick called
"love bombing".)
It also doesn't mean that the 12-Step program actually works to get people sober. (And it doesn't.)
You can find similar moral support in a variety of other organizations like SMART, SOS, WFS, and Lifering.
Here is the list of them:
You ask why I'm doing the web site. The short answer is, "To tell people the truth about A.A., alcohol addiction,
drug addiction,
and recovery." I've answered that question many times before, and here is the list of answers:
By the way, it doesn't matter whether I am "SO MAD". My being angry or happy won't change the A.A. failure
rate by one single percentage point. Really.
A.A. people telling you that you cannot "have a resentment" is just more A.A. cult indoctrination,
Bill Wilson wrote that you are "axiomatically spiritually in the wrong" if you are angry.
That is just a standard cult trick to cripple you and keep you from feeling your feelings.
(Especially, they don't want you to be angry about someone deceiving you and feeding you a pack of lies.)
Here is
the list of previous accusations of "resentment".
And here is the Cult Test question
And the answer for A.A. is:
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Thu, July 26, 2012 4:23 pm (answered 1 August 2012)
Thanks so much for your response. I have so much to read on your site. I am glad i stumbled across it... must have been "destiny" lol (that's not a cult statement, is it?) Anyway, no need to reply... Okay, Kathy, thanks and have a good day now.
Date: Sun, July 22, 2012 12:56 pm (answered 25 July 2012) Who are you? Sent from my iPhone
Hello Greg,
My name is Terrance Hodgins, and I live in rural Oregon.
"Who are you?" is a common question, and I've answered it many times before, so here are some of the answers:
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Sat, July 21, 2012 6:45 pm (answered 25 July 2012) Hi Orange, I have not written in many years, (2006?) and am stopping by to say "hi" and congratulations on the site being so large, etc. How wonderful! I have (25) years now, and can count on one hand the number of meetings I've been to the past half-dozen years. I think it must have been in 2003 or '04 that I started questioning AA and somehow found your site, and found it quite a respite from the insanity I'd fearfully assumed to be truth for so long. You've done so much for so many people; I am one! I stopped by your forum — it's a beautiful layout; I'm nuts about the blue color. Hope all is well with you and yours — I will drop another line here and there.
Very, very best,
Hello again, Stacey,
Thanks for the letter and the compliments. Yes, the web site is just steadily growing. I'm glad you like it.
So you wrote as "Regina", huh? Like
here
and
here?
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Thu, July 26, 2012 4:16 pm (answered 1 August 2012)
oh, ba ha ha!
xo
Thanks, Stacey. Some people have told me that I should do stand-up comedy. Unfortunately,
most of the time I don't feel funny at all. Just once in a great while, the Humor Devil
gets into me, and I start looking at cult religions with a wicked twist.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Mon, July 23, 2012 12:23 pm (answered 25 July 2012) As the relative of an alcoholic, I have enjoyed perusing your site, as it seems to be a very rational (though biased) view of AA. But I think you are doing your readers an inadvertent disservice...by not talking about other methods which have a better recovery rate than AA. In particular, I've done some research into the Sinclair Method, and am struck by the mass of scientific (rather than anecdotal) data to support their claims. The Sinclair Method involves the use of opiate antagonists such as naltrexone or nalmefene while continuing normal drinking habits in order to decrease the craving for alcohol over time. It relies upon a mechanism called pharmacological extinction, which works by blocking the positive reinforcement effects of ethanol-triggered endorphins in the brain. It seems to me that, if you really wanted to hit AA where it hurts, you might want to consider supporting the alternatives. Just a thought...
Have a great day!
Date: Mon, July 23, 2012 12:39 pm (answered 25 July 2012) To be clear.... I *know* that you speak of alternatives to AA (recent quote:)
"And you most assuredly did not "try everything". That is a common over-used old A.A. cliché that A.A. members parrot mindlessly without even thinking about what it means. Did you try SMART? SOS? Lifering? Women For Sobriety (WFS)? Rational Recovery and AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy)? The Veteran's Administration program? The Catholic CALIX or St. Vincent de Paul programs? The Salvation Army program? Naltrexone?" I suppose what I want to suggest is that you consider devoting the same effort into promoting those other methods (and, yes, Naltrexone is most interesting to that side of my brain that enjoys logic and rationality) as you do in denouncing AA. Hope that makes a little more sense.
Keep up the great work!
Hello Steve,
Thanks for the letter and the question.
I do not feature the Sinclair Method or Naltrexone front and center all of the time, but we have discussed it
repeatedly. I sure don't suppress knowledge of it, or ignore it, or try to keep people from learning about it.
I'm very interested in how it's working, and I want to see many properly-done clinical tests of it, genuine
randomized longitudinal controlled studies, to prove
for once and for all how good it is.
Here are some previous letters where we discussed Naltrexone and the Sinclair Method:
Have a good day now.
== Orange
[The next letter from VS is here. It contains a long bibliography of research and clinical tests of Naltrexone and the Sinclair Method.]
Date: Mon, July 23, 2012 2:02 pm (answered 25 July 2012) Hi Orange, I just finished reading through most of your very long "The Effectiveness of the Twelve-Step Treatment" article. Really an eye opener for me. I've been a drinker for most of my 20's. By myself, with friends, my girlfriend. I've had plenty of fun nights drinking with my friends and really only had one terrible night where I got far, far too drunk and almost required a hospital visit. I've had lots of hangovers. I've been drunk and drove. I've specifically gotten drunk before driving so I could go cruising the road late at night. I've been pulled over while drunk, with open beer in the car, and the cop never noticed, just gave me a speeding ticket. As I'm writing this down.. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I guess I'm always looking for someone to forgive me my sins. I don't believe in God, though I was raised Catholic. The point is, these are things that I did on my own. No one forced my hand, not the booze, not my genetics, in the end it was up to me. They were stupid and reckless things and I did them anyway. I put others lives in danger, repeatedly, and I thank my lucky stars that my stupid actions never caused anyone their lives. I used to think that if I wanted out of this, I'd just go to A.A., work the steps, and be cured. I think I used A.A. as a safety net. Like, I would think "I'm not drinking too much, because I don't need A.A.". It's like I was searching for "rock bottom" but never really finding it. Then, when I started reading about how ineffective A.A. really is and the kinds of failures rates as compared to "spontaneous remission" rates... I was shocked. Now I'm starting to change my thinking about the whole thing. I used to always hear about these rock-bottom, "I lost everything" stories of alcohol abuse and I always feared that would be me someday. Well, that fear is getting smaller by the day, and I'm becoming more confident in myself. I use to think that the messages coming out of A.A. were right: "You are powerless". I'm coming to find that I'm not powerless, I'm not hopeless, and I don't need a "cult" to kick the habit of abusive alcohol use. I think I'm starting to realize that I don't need to be some broken shell of a man to be "worthy" of turning my life around. I'm going to stop using A.A. as an excuse to stay a hopeless drunk, and start taking responsibility for my own well-being. Thanks Orange, I hope you are well and I hope you don't mind reading my long rambling email. I appreciate any advice or comments on my situation you can give me. -J
Hello JG,
Thank you for the letter. Has it ever occurred to you that you might not be an alcoholic at all?
Isn't it entirely possible that you are just a normal American male who partied hearty and
drank too much in his 'twenties, and who is now simply maturing out of it?
That really sounds like the story of millions of young American males.
Now, if you've been talking to some A.A. members, I'm pretty sure that they will put on sad knowing looks
and solemnly announce that you are hopeless and doomed to die drunk in a gutter unless you join their organization
and let it run your life, but I'm not buying it.
You are quite right. You aren't powerless. Heck, even I am not powerless, in spite of the fact that I drank until
my fifties, and drank until I was
sick and homeless and lost nearly everything. I still just snapped one day and decided that I wasn't going to
die that way. And I'm not. I have 11, almost 12, years of sobriety now, by working no program other than,
"Just don't take that first drink, not ever, no matter what."
The A.A. guys say that you can't just quit like that, but it happens every day.
And that fact has even been measured and counted and documented by such organizations as
the Harvard Medical School and
The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism of the National Institutes of Health.
I'm pretty sure that you can also just cut down or quit when you want to.
It sounds like you are already doing it.
Note that I have to totally abstain from drinking alcohol because that is my personality, and my physical make-up.
I was never able to moderate, and just have a few.
But plenty of other people are okay with just cutting down, and drinking reasonably.
It really depends on the individual person which he should do.
Way back in the nineteen-seventies, the famous government think tank called The Rand Corporation
did a study of alcoholism
that found that half of the alcoholics who successfully stopped self-destructive drinking did it by
total abstinence, and the other half did it by tapering off into moderate controlled drinking.
The point there is just "Different Strokes for Different Folks".
"Alcoholics", or excessive drinkers, or whatever you want to call them,
are not all alike. And they sure don't fit
the stereotype of "The Alcoholic" that A.A. pushes.
Each of us excessive drinkers has the problem of figuring out which half we are in.
It also occurs to me that the question of whether someone is "an alcoholic" is not a yes/no question. There are
zillions of shades of gray in the middle. A more realistic question is simply "How much are you drinking, and how
much is it hurting you?" Score the answers on a scale of one to a hundred. If the total score is too high, then the
answer is to cut down or quit drinking alcohol, whichever works best for you.
We don't really even need the label "alcoholic".
I mean, it gets kind of ridiculous if we start talking about how someone is
a 30% alcoholic, or a 50% alcoholic, or a 70% alcoholic.
Have a good day now, and a good life.
== Orange
P.S.: I forgot to even mention the other usual answers to how to get sober:
Date: Wed, July 25, 2012 7:21 am (answered 26 July 2012) really great shot
Yes, they are beautiful, aren't they? I feed them all of the time, so
they have become very tame. They just walk up to me and look at me
like that, and ask for more goodies.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Sun, July 22, 2012 12:08 am (answered 26 July 2012)
Did you ever get that long email I sent about setting up the Sims 1?
Hi again, Meatbag,
No, I don't think so. I know that I don't have it handy. (Meaning: I don't know where to find it, if it ever
did come in.)
Anyhow, I discovered the hard way that I did not have the 64-bit version of Salix, after several failed attempts at installing Virtualbox. Turns out they didn't have a 64-bit live CD that had Fluxbox as the default window manager. So, I use the regular installation CD to reinstall. When I did, my wi-fi actually worked out of the box. I was shocked.
Ah, working wifi. Good.
I've also gotten my fingers burned on 32-bit versus 64-bit executables. I have some programs that I compiled and linked
on a 32-bit Linux system many years ago. When I tried to run them on a 64-bit AMD Athlon, I got error messages of
"file not found", in spite of the fact that the programs were right there in the path. It took me a while to
realize that the 64-bit system was rejecting and ignoring the 32-bit applications as unusable, so it was complaining
that it couldn't find a 64-bit program by that name. I thought that 64-bit systems could run 32-bit applications,
but apparently not so.
Now, I'm looking at getting the core, GUI-less version of Salix working on that old laptop. One of the developers on that forum actually tested a VM with the specs of my laptop. It turns out the installer won't run on it, but it'll work once it's actually installed somehow. That makes sense, since it's pretty much the same as a minimal Slackware install. Now the trick is figuring out how to get it installed. Oh yes, those "custom" installation jobs. Oh can that be a pain. Been there, done that. One of the other developers linked to a set of tools he wrote. Apparently, one of them installs the ISO to a directory. It doesn't handle partitioning, fstab, or installing a bootloader, so I need to do that stuff manually. I'm still reading up on fstab and lilo. I plan to start out with Damn Small Linux to handle that stuff. DSL doesn't display properly on the laptop, or I would be installing that. But I can put up with eyesore for a while. Also read up on "chroot". To make the stuff install properly, you have to make it see a different directory as the root directory. I guess I could also take out the hard drive, hook it up to my desktop, and install it that way, but I'm not particularly willing to dismantle my laptop. After all, if I fry any of the components, it would be very difficult to find replacement parts. Impossible, in the case of the motherboard. Yes, and the installation would still be a problem. Again, you would have to chroot and install. As long as you can read a CD on your laptop, I don't see any particular advantage to removing the hard disk. And I've think I've figured out a use for this laptop once it's all set up. IRC. I've always wanted a second display for IRC purposes, but I don't have the money to buy one. A second computer will work just as well. Run a fullscreen game on my desktop, while chatting on the old laptop. I can even do something else on the newer laptop at the same time. Maybe run another game.
Ah, interesting. Does your laptop have a VGA socket on the back? Mine does, and I just got two very nice
LCD flat-panel displays from Goodwill, for $10 and $13. Nearly new, too. Beautiful, bright, and clear.
Pretty colors too. One monitor was a little shop-worn and needed some minor cleaning. (Literally just a damp sponge.)
The other monitor just looks brand new. Sometimes stuff like that shows up at Goodwill — some store dumps their surplus,
or they donate stuff that has a few tiny scratches on it,
or something like that — and you get lucky about the pricing where Goodwill doesn't price it high.
Not to put anybody down, some of the pricers at Goodwill are not computer experts. To them, a monitor is a monitor.
So an old, obsolete, nearly-dead CRT monitor and a new, bright, LCD flat-panel display get the same price. I love it.
Linux and Xwindows are good for running multiple monitors, so right now the second monitor is displaying a slide show of
cute gosling photographs. Now if I could find a PCMCIA card that is a display controller, I could have three monitors.
Or a USB display controller. But I never heard of anybody making those things.
Say, have you ever thought about setting up an IRC channel? I know you're having problems with your forums (personally, I say whip out the banhammer; there's plenty of places that allow stepper nonsense, and you're not obligated to be one of them). But an IRC channel might be easier to manage. Set up a bot and recruit some people you trust to be operators. Maybe set up one channel where stepper nonsense is tolerated, and one where it isn't. Make the latter invite-only or require a password.
Now that sounds very interesting. I'll have to see what can be done with IRC.
I agree about the banning. I started off intending to never ban anybody from the forum, and to allow unfettered freedom of speech.
Unfortunately, there are a few mental cases out there who will take advantage of the situation to persistently attack and
viciously slander other people on the forum, rather than discuss ideas.
Their goal is obviously to disrupt the discussions, and keep the facts that they don't like from being heard.
At least one person seems to keep returning under aliases to continue the attacks after he gets banned.
Welcome to the real world, rather than an idealized world.
But then again, I have to remember that even the U.S. Senate, where men are supposed to solemnly debate the issues
intelligently and respectfully,
has seen an angry Senator pull out a cane and nearly beat another Senator to death. That was just before the
Civil War, while they were debating slavery and States' Rights.
150 years and nothing much has changed. (Talk about divisive dogmatic partisan politics...)
Oh well, have a good day now.
== Orange
[The next letter from Meatbag is here.]
Date: Thu, July 26, 2012 4:36 am (answered 31 July 2012) So, I installed the 64-bit version of Salix a few days ago. Now, I've decided to go back to 32-bit Salix. My wifi works out of the box. I get Virtualbox working. Only one thing missing: WINE. So I try to install it from the site. The wine command doesn't work after it's installed. I try to install it from Sourcery. It tells me I need 32-bit libraries. So, I look into solutions. I discover multilibbing. It doesn't seem overly difficult. But why do all that to get the functionality of a 32-bit OS when I can just install the 32-bit OS? Now, the laptop has an i3 processor and 4 GB RAM. I don't even use a lot of those resources most of the time. So why do I need a 64-bit OS? If I was that concerned about the bleeding edge, I would have installed Fedora or Arch Linux, and my /usr/local and /home partitions wouldn't be formatted as ext3. I use WINE a lot more than I use programs that benefit from a 64-bit system.
Hello again, Meatbag,
I'm running both 32-bit and 64-bit versions of Linux (on different computers),
and I find the 64-bit stuff to
be basically more bother than it is worth. Which is sad.
It is odd: For most of the entire computer
revolution — more than 50 years now — everybody was racing to have
the biggest and fastest and best gizmos and systems.
But with 64-bit systems, suddenly almost all of the players have turned their backs
on progress and gone off in other directions. The Linux gang is the only people I see
who are fully supporting 64-bit systems. Microsoft is a joke. They just put a few patches on their
32-bit XP system and called it a 64-bit system.
We had to wait for many years for a Macromedia/Adobe Flash player that would
work on 64-bit systems. Likewise, most browser plug-ins don't work with 64-bit systems.
There are immense numbers of software packages that don't work on 64-bit systems.
It's a shame. I specifically got a pair of AMD 64-bit systems in order to have the horsepower to
make videos. Little did I know how limited the available software would be.
I've been waiting 4 years now for the software world to catch up with 64-bit hardware, and
that is an eternity in the fast-moving computer world. The real underlying message seems to
be that the software companies don't plan to ever support 64-bit systems.
Oh well, have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Thu, July 26, 2012 7:56 am (answered 31 July 2012) Dear Mr Orange, My prayers and thoughts are with you. I hope recovery from your addictions is going well. You have put a lot of hard work into your research into AA's history. Frank
Hello Frank,
Thank you for the good wishes.
Happily, you don't need to worry about me. I'm doing great. In another 3 months, I will have
12 years off of alcohol, tobacco, and all drugs. And my health is good, and in a few hours,
after I get these letters sent off and updates uploaded and all of that busywork done,
I'm going ride my bicycle out in the sunshine to go feed the geese and their
children at the wetlands. It's a beautiful sunny summer day and life is good.
The people to worry about are those unfortunate souls who are still going to 12-Step meetings.
I do worry about them.
Oh well, have a good day now.
== Orange
Greetings Orange, This, my letter, appeared today in the North Bay Bohemian (Santa Rosa, CA). Peace, Carl
(Please withhold my name if published. Thank you.)
Date: Thu, July 26, 2012 10:54 pm Here's a link to the paper: http://www.bohemian.com/northbay/letters-to-the-editor-july-25-2012/Content?oid=2307214
Hello Carl,
Thank you very much. That is great. Well-written, clear, logical, good.
Such letters to the editor are very valuable because they reach the people who do not
read this web site, which means the vast majority of the citizenry. It is important to let
the "average people" out there know that A.A. is perpetrating a fraud and mythology, as
you pointed out. About all that the average people know about A.A. or N.A. is what they heard on
TV or in a movie: that it is supposedly a very good way for alcoholics or drug addicts to get
clean and sober.
They really need to be told the truth.
So thanks, and have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Tue, July 31, 2012 6:17 am (answered 1 August 2012) I just read your article online about 12-Step Programs and Synanon, and I have to say, it seems that no matter how many "reliable sources" you interviewed when writing this, it is still quite wrong and irresponsible. It's easy to base an article on only the negative things you find and keep it completely biased, because, of course, that makes for a much more interesting article. I grew up in Synanon, from the ages of 9-17, and it was a wonderful experience. My mother, who was a Game player before we moved in, liked the community lifestyle, so we left our suburban house and moved in. What you described in your article was so over-exaggerated and incorrect on so many points. Certainly there were things I didn't like — having a shaved head — being one, and certainly some aspects of your article were correct. There are SO many more people who moved into Synanon with drug & alcohol issues that are now completely clean and sober and very successful than there are that reverted back to drugs. All of my best friends in the world are people that I grew up with there. I'm 46 years old now and believe I can see all of this very clearly. No, it wasn't perfect and there were issues, but it wasn't like you wrote. Yes, when Chuck Dederich decided he could drink and introduced that into the community, it was the downfall of Synanon, but seriously, if Synanon were around today as it was at it's best, thousands of people could be saved. I just thought you should know this.
Thank you,
Hello Wendy,
Thank you for the letter.
Alas, you are glossing over so many important issues,
Chuck Dederich and two of his goons were
even arrested for attempted murder, to which they pleaded guilty.
This has all been established in court proceedings. It sure does contrast with your description
of a wonderful happy camp. And that isn't just "some issues".
To try to reduce all of that to just "they had some issues" is a classic example of
Minimization and Denial.
That is just like saying that I was never able to ride a bicycle when I was a kid. I fell
down every time that I tried. But then Jimmy loaned me his lucky rabbit's foot,
and it worked. I didn't fall down.
So that proves that lucky rabbits' feet make children able to ride bicycles.
Saying that Synanon made people able to quit drugs is like that.
It's also like saying that church weddings make girls get pregnant. Well, they do, don't they?
The girls go to church, and stand in front of the preacher or priest while he mumbles some
magic words, and the next thing you know, the girls are pregnant. So church weddings
make girls get pregnant.
And Alcoholics Anonymous and Synanon and all of the other rehab frauds cure
alcoholics and drug addicts the same way.
So, for Synanon to be a success at treating addicts, it would have to produce a success rate
that is greater than the normal rate of spontaneous remission.
— Which leads to the next point:
Perhaps you saw
this quote:
In addition, note that the only people whom Synanon kept off of
drugs and alcohol were the people who stayed at Synanon (and then
not all of them).
Just like all of the other cults, you couldn't ever leave
Synanon, and return to normal life, or else...
So, again, I ask, what was the actual Synanon cure rate?
And after Synanon collapsed, what percentage of the former members kept themselves clean and sober?
Do you have any solid, documented numbers?
By the way, back in the 'sixties, I personally knew two Synanon graduates (or "non-graduates",
since Synanon wasn't using the "graduate" word then), who
had gone through Synanon for excessive drinking. I saw one of them go back to drinking in Taos, NM,
and both of them had their lives fall apart.
All that Synanon seemed to have really taught them was how to play manipulative mind games on people, and
how to have a lot of contempt for both themselves and others.
They were very damaged souls. What sad cases.
So you are either assuming that the ex-Synanites stayed clean and sober, or you are just looking at
a few acquaintances who are clean and sober, and only counting them. That is the logical
fallacy of Observational Selection.
By the way, the thought that "just a little drinking on special occasions will be okay"
is classic Lizard-Brain thinking.
Look here.
Now if you want to tell me more about your experiences in Synanon, please do.
But some kind of documentation or hard numbers would help a lot.
By the way, my sources of information that you call biased and inaccurate are here, in the
bibliography:
There are some more quotes about Synanon here:
Would you care to comment on any of that? Do you have any proof that those statements are untrue?
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Last updated 23 May 2013. |