Date: Tue, January 25, 2011 5:07 am (answered 30 January 2011) Because you are not a hopeless drunk you will never understand what I'm telling you. I did not heal myself the people that got sober before me taught me the tools I did not know before. I know you think your God's little messenger but your just another hole with an opinon. ,
Hello again, Steve,
You just demonstrated three logical fallacies and another standard cult characteristic there:
In your case, you imagine that being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous has given you special knowledge
that I don't have.
You are also claiming to have special knowledge because you are allegedly
"a hopeless drunk", and I am obviously not "hopeless".
That is even more ridiculous. That's the stupid A.A. game of spiritual
one-upmanship where the worst drunks supposedly become the biggest saints.
Alcohol just damages your brain and makes you stupider. You don't get
divine wisdom or special knowledge from drinking too much alcohol.
Have a good day.
== Orange
[The next letter from Steve_A is here.]
Date: Tue, January 25, 2011 5:05 am (answered 30 January 2011) We NEVER promoted the Vietnam War as a positive thing. I have NEVER seen anything like the skit where "flag-waving MRA members chased "protester hippies" off of the stage?". I have staging videos of our shows from before they went on the road and that stuff just isn't there. Look deeper than your surface scratching and you will find much, much more.
Hello again, Scott,
You never saw that? Well it was on national television in 1968. Don't you remember the
NBC TV special where Up With People got a nationwide audience?
It was there.
I had to sit through that jingoistic war-mongering
while my parents cheered. (My father was a lifer sergeant in
the Air Force, so that kind of attitude just came with the territory.)
It is pretty irrelevant whether UWP put that warmongering skit in the
show when they played at the local college. That one NBC broadcast
reached a much larger audience than all of the other shows by all casts,
all year long.
Again, just because you failed to see something doesn't mean that it
didn't happen. I saw it. Go look at the tapes of the NBC TV special.
And just because you can't see
Frank Buchman's fascist philosophy
does not mean that it didn't (and doesn't still) exist.
Have a good day.
== Orange
Id Powers posted in Recovery 2 Day. This is the one most do not want to read. It says "Addiction is a brain disease" http://www.facebook.com/l/f26ef9GjcI-5buhI2fXo6c1DTOQ; Perhaps more importantly, these changes are long lasting and in some cases can be permanent. One goal of medications development for addiction is to reverse or compensate for such pathological effects. It says "relapse rates for addiction with abstinence as a goal are high: generally 90%" It also says "Appropriately monitored replacement treatments, such as methadone and buprenorphine, have a relatively high success rate in terms of reducing or eliminating illicit use of opioids. Furthermore, recent successes with naltrexone, acamprosate, buprenorphine and varenicline hold promise for future medications development for addiction."
Hello again, Id,
Thank you for the input. That is very interesting.
Of course I have to quibble over the word "disease". I'm with
Jeffrey Schaler
on this one; addiction is not a disease. We might call it a condition, but not a disease.
Of course addiction changes the brains of addicts. Everything changes the brains of everybody.
Every experience changes our brains. Nutrition changes our brains. Aging changes
our brains. Going outdoors and getting some sunshine and exercise changes our brains.
Childhood experiences, including education,
change the brains of children. But even when children's brains are damaged by childhood abuse,
we don't call that "a disease".
See the study of how the Cerebellar Vermises of abused
children are small and shrivelled up.
But we don't have any disease called "Vermisitis".
There is no doubt in my mind that my brain was changed by 200 LSD trips. But nobody is calling
that a disease. Heck, we might eventually discover that it was an improvement.
I know that we are in danger of getting trapped in semantic arguments here.
Look at
this definition of disease.
If we use the broadest definition of "disease", then almost any unpleasant
condition qualifies as a disease. That means that a huge number of people are guilty
of practicing medicine without a license for trying to fix sundry aches
and pains without any medical training or license. Personally, I prefer
to use a narrower definition of "disease". I especially want
to see the etiology — what causes it? A disease without a cause is
a very dubious proposition.
(Like the "spiritual disease of alcoholism" that isn't caused by drinking alcohol.)
Now, to get off of the disease word, I agree that giving ex-addicts other medicines can
help them immensely. I have often noticed that what is needed to get a lot of people off of
drugs and alcohol, and tobacco, is some other way of making them feel better.
Coldly telling people that "You just have to suffer through it for
the rest of your life" really doesn't make it.
Opiate addicts, in particular, are hyper-sensitive to pain after quitting their drug habit.
It can take many years for opiate ex-addicts to grow new opiate receptors in their brains.
And ex-speed freaks are often just crawling the walls with pain and mental anguish, and the damage from
speed takes years to heal, if it ever does. Some damage from speed is irrepairable.
So I suspect that some of those ex-addicts need to be on some kind of drug replacement therapy for many years.
Have a good day, and thanks again for the input.
== Orange
Hi Orange, I hope you're doing well. I saw that you're quitting high fructose corn syrup, which means almost no processed foods. You're in luck. I have a great snack for you! Chobani Greek yogurt has evaporated cane juice instead of HFCS, among other natural ingredients. It's 0% fat, yet thick, rich and delicious. Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the work you have done to expose AA for all that it really is!!!
X0X0X0
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for the tip, and thanks for the thanks. And I'm doing very well, thank you.
And I trust that you are doing the same.
Yes, getting rid of all HFCS in your diet is a huge job, isn't it? I was just thinking about
the Hunt's ketchup that does not have any HFCS, so I went and looked in the refrigerator.
The first three things that I grabbed showed:
The "Light Ranch Dressing" contains "corn syrup".
They weren't specific about whether it was High Fructose Corn Syrup or
unconverted corn syrup. The mayonaise also contained "corn syrup".
Only the mustard was free of corn syrup. Jeez, it's everywhere.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
P.S.: 2011.07.27: Okay, I got ahold of some Chobani and gave it a try. Yummy. And yes, when I look at the ingredients, it's lots of things like milk, cream, berry blend, evaporated cane juice, natural flavors, locust bean gum, pectin, fruit and vegetable juice, vitamin D3, and yoghurt cultures. No HFCS, and no chemical preservatives, and no other weird chemicals. Neat.
Date: Wed, January 26, 2011 4:12 pm (answered 31 January 2011) Thanks for the feedback. I will drink more coffee with milk or cream more often. So, I got a new one for you and am sure you can enlighten me on the subject. On page 53 [Really, page 52] of the big book it talks about the bedevilments, and my crazy sponsor friend tells me that they are what makes the alcoholic an alcoholic. To me it is a slap in the face. It says that we had problems with personal relationships. Notice the we. I do not have that problem and even if I did that is my choice, But it just seems weird to think that I am supposed to think that every time I go to a bar I am supposed to think these are the things that make me drink. So, I still go to some meetings, but usually am engaged in doing a crossword. Listening to them ramble on about their pitiful self is depressing. Anyway at one meeting I attended a girl mentioned how AA was a cult or how she thought it was a cult. And I thought that she was right but they had brainwashed her into believing the opposite. So I started to read "Working With Others" and to me it is just a tool to proselytize potential members in this twisted cult. Now back to the bedevilments, My sponsor wanted me to read these three times each morning. This is my opinion on each one.
We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people —
I hope to hear from you on this soon.
Hello Darrell,
Thanks for the letter. Yes, that is some poisonous stuff, isn't it?
What Bill Wilson was doing there is called "projection". Bill Wilson was insane,
literally clinically insane. He suffered from
Narcissistic Personality Disorder and
Delusions of Grandeur, and
chronic clinical depression.
Bill had two psychiatrists, Dr. Harry Tiebout, and Dr. Frances Weeks, certify him as a nutcase.
When, in moments of clarity, Bill Wilson noticed his messed-up mental state, he projected all of
his faults onto "the other alcoholics", and said,
"Look at those disgusting alcoholics.
We are all like that.
Nobody else is any better than me, so I'm not so bad after all.
It isn't my fault, I'm powerless over alcoholism."
No, we are not all carbon copies of Bill Wilson. I'm not perfect, but I sure as heck am not like
that pathetic raving sicko.
Oh, by the way, when I opened my Big Book to page 53 to see what
Bill wrote there, the first thing that I saw was Bill's crazy story about
how we have to all give up "Reason" (with a capital 'R'), and
become brainless believers:
Yes, Bill Wilson gave up Reason and sanity quite some time back.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
[More gosling photos below, here.]
Orange, I saw something truly chilling on television last night that I felt compelled to share with you. Like many people, I'm an unapologetic consumer of trash television. One of these programs, which perhaps you've heard of, is Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. This most recent season was of particular interest to me, because in addition to all the drama, I was able to appreciate how terrible the situation was. The whole point of the show is to promote 12 step treatment and Dr. Drew himself. He's got two ex-addicts, both totally out of their skulls, "treating" his patients. And I've got to remember that this is the most sanitized, sane version of treatment they're able to present. They have all the advantages of an editing room and this is the best they could put forth. Last night they didn't have the benefit of creative editing, as the follow-up episode/finale was broadcast live. The particular part I wanted to share with you happened just seconds after Dr. Drew Pinsky was rambling about how addiction is a "family disease" and talking about how an addicts family also needed treatment. After preaching for a while, Dr. Drew looked directly into the camera, pointed his finger at the at-home audience and declared that the friends and family of alcoholics where were failing to attend Al-anon were "part of the problem, not part of the solution". It was spooky. —Taylor "You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way." —Johnny Cash
Hello Taylor,
Thanks for the letter. The subject of Dr. Phil has been coming up lately.
The acronym SHAM means "Self-Help and Actualization Movement", which is just such an appropriate moniker. The first rule of the Hypocratic Oath is "Do No Harm." It is sad how many "authorities" and "experts" and "healers" have forgotten that rule. I don't know why Dr. Phil is so crazy about the 12-Step cult. By the way, Dr. Phil is not a medical doctor or a psychiatrist. He is a fellow who has a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of North Texas. He got his start in show biz by helping Oprah Winfrey to win a case where she was being sued by a Texas cattle billionaire for criticizing the toxic make-up of hamburger. Dr. Phil was a jury consultant who used his knowledge of psychology to pick a favorable jury and and then play to the jury's sympathies to get an innocent verdict. When Oprah won the case, she was so impressed with Dr. Phil's manipulative skills that she put him on her show. And the rest is history. Have a good day now. == Orange
[The next letter from Taylor_W is here.]
Hi Terry, I was thinking back to the 14 months I spent at the local men's halfway house, Freedom House, in NJ. Here are a few recollections:
Hi again, William,
Thanks for the info.
While at the halfway house I remember talking to one of the men who worked the AA program so well he was regarded as "resident-staff." He was held up as a role model to the rest of us. He was around 57-58 years old at the time and I was about 40. One night I talked to him about my future and how I wanted to get back on my feet, get back into playing music again, find a decent job and a nice place to live etc. So he says to me, "Hey, you know how to make god laugh? Tell him your plans! As for me, I just let go and let God. If I wind up in some state-run facility as an old man, well that's ok with me." I thought to myself, are you kidding me? Where's your ambition? Where's your drive to succeed, to make something of yourself? He used the typical AA message of "Let Go and Let God" to give him an excuse to do nothing. By the way, our glorious Freedom House role-model ended up seducing one of the halfway house's secretaries and found a way to move into her house with her. She had money you see. However, she had to kick him out after about a year of his gold digging. Yet he was our "role model." But that message, "Let go and Let God" or the similar "Take your hands off the steering wheel" is a very insidous message. They brainwash people to not be too ambitious or too willful, even though you could be willful for a good reason, like to start taking college classes or to take on a second job. This lazy, unambitious message approved by Freedom House and promulgated on all levels. It's a very damning message. Yes. And I wonder if it isn't also a cover for people who are incapable of planning a future. If someone says, "I have no plans for the future," that also means, "I cannot fail to accomplish my goals." I also recall a story about my AA sponsor, whom I have discussed previously in the Orange Papers. He was a staunch sloganeer and 12 & 12 step-book thumper (in fact, he used to run a 12 & 12 step-book "study" at his house for his sponsees — as if anyone could make ANY sense out of the book that was worth "studying.") Anyhow, I remember him admonishing me when he first took me on as a sponsee. "I want you to call me everyday to check in," he said, "But if you ever get drunk, don't ever call me...." Since I was eager to get a sponsor I just said "Sure, whatever you say." But after a little while I thought "Well hell, if I get drunk and need help, who can I call if my sponsor won't even talk to me?" It didn't seem right. I found out many AA sponsors felt this was proper. I think it's selfish, hypocritical, and cowardly. And punishing. Also, my sponsor often repeated over and over what a wonderful life he had now that he had been going to AA for 15-20 years. Except that his wife hated him; couldn't stand him. He was in an awful, dead marriage. I once asked him "Why don't you get a divorce and move on?" He replied that this was God's way of sort of getting even with him for his alcoholic behavior 20 years ago! He felt it was his duty to "take it." His big answer to everything was "Acceptance — that is the key." Is that sick thinking or what? Anyway, keep up the good work. Bill
Yep. Sick thinking. Insane, in fact.
That marriage sounds like Jean-Paul Sartre's play, "No Exit". It was one of the most
convincing portrayals of Hell that anybody has ever done.
Oh well, have a good day anyway.
== Orange
for turning the light on it and then putting it in print. I appreciate your brain! It's a good one :0) Patti
Hi Patti,
Thanks for the compliment. You have a good day too.
== Orange
i have not got the video online yet, my camera sucks but i wrote the blog, here is the link it describes how to get out of AA 100% legally http://scoundrelzntwk.blogspot.com/
Hello Jerrod,
Thanks for the plug, and thanks for a great idea. I mean really. Legally, it sounds solid to me.
As they have said so many times, the only requirement for membership in A.A. is a desire
to quit drinking.
And they already have (allegedly) atheists' meetings, and they definitely have
pedophiles' meetings,
so why not some "Bill Is Bonkers" meeting groups?
If you are coerced into A.A. by a judge or parole officer, or some so-called "counselor" or
"treatment program", or any kind of other authority, start
up your own A.A. meeting. Then you can spend an hour or two talking about how you are
getting yourself sober without rotting your brain with Bill's Babbling.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Id Powers posted in Recovery 2 Day. The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. ~Isaac Asimov
Yes, so true. And somebody else, perhaps Einstein, commented that humanity was gaining
technical knowledge much faster than they were learning the morality needed to handle it.
He was, of course, referring to the morality of dropping atomic bombs on cities full of
civilians.
Have a good day.
== Orange
[The story of Carmen continues here.]
I have just read you AA articles. I loved it. Thank you for writing this. I run a group called Booze Free Buddies. I couldn't stomach AA and it's brainwashing and was shocked at the lack of support for people in need of help with alcohol addiction who didn't want to go to AA. http://www.boozefreebuddies.com Once again, thank you for such a brilliant piece. sincerely Beckie G. "Creating Healthy Bodies and Healthy Minds"
Hi Becky,
Thanks for the compliments, and thanks for doing something about the A.A. problem.
So good luck with your group, and have a good day now. And a good life.
== Orange
Date: Mon, January 31, 2011 7:57 am (answered 2 February 2011) January 31, 2011 Orange, I have read so many of the emails and I just read one where the person said he was a drinker for 20 years and you suggested that perhaps he seek out a doctor or something to that effect. I find that you are really trying to do what you can to give information to people who have not liked A.A. or whatever the reason. I see this as service, not as you holding resentment at A.A. Really thanks so very much for what you do. And bless you. Love the goslings. We can all fit in somewhere, maybe many of us would be better off to learn the animal world first. Perhaps that would make us more aware at being human. Thanks for all you do, once more. Happy New Year!! Cindy R
Hello Cindy,
Thanks for the compliments. And you are right, it isn't a "resentment". Lord knows I
have enough material for a gigantic resentment, but I'm more interested in getting the truth
out to sick people who need it than in wasting my time and my hormones being angry.
And those little goslings do teach me about humanity and the joy of being alive.
They are like a microcosm of the real world. If you watch them long enough, you see everything.
What is getting wacky is that it isn't just the geese.
Just a few days ago I was watching PBS television, and they had a program about baby animals,
and it included those unbearably cute little penguin chicks down at the
Antarctic. At about a month of
age, the kids leave their parents and go join a "teenage gang" of other penguin chicks,
and hang out with their buddies.
As one newcomer chick joined the group, he was chirping hello and another was jabbering
back at him, and I realized with a shock, "Hey, I'm understanding what they are saying.
That's the same as gosling talk." They were actually using the same chirps and the same "words",
and saying, "Hello, greetings. I'm happy to meet you."
When you understand what they are saying, you start regarding them as little people.
It's just so obvious. I know it sounds a bit crazy, but I see them as little people more than
as "wildlife" or just animals.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
[The next letter from Cindy is here.]
Who are you to say what people in AA have seen when clearly u would not have the priviledge to let the focus come off urself and u need to read the 4th edition cause its not a disease anymore ,,an illness,,u really can only speak if u have had experience and if u do i would be interested
Hello Charles,
Thank you for the letter. The focus is not on myself.
The focus is on recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, and what doesn't work, and what does.
Please tell me exactly where in the
Big Book they changed the wording from "disease" to "illness"
in the Fourth Edition. That's a cute trick,
considering that they did not change one word of the first 164 pages between the third
and fourth editions. Page 64 still contains Bill's crazy talk about "resentments"
causing "spiritual diseases". So where? Which page should I look at?
Speaking of which, I have copies of all versions of the Big Book
from the first to the fourth editions, so I'll look it up as soon as you tell me where they changed
the wording.
By the way, changing the wording now, in the latest edition of the book,
doesn't change what A.A. has been saying for the last 70 years.
And once again, another Stepper is
claiming to have Special Knowledge
that I don't have, because I am not a member of your cult.
Cult members routinely claim
that they know more than outsiders, and outsiders cannot criticize the cult, because
the outsiders don't know anything.
Not so.
Plenty of outsiders do understand, and are qualified to criticize A.A.
Many of them are former members of A.A.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Mister T, The Suffolk County NY aa bulletin for February 2011 shows 2010 grapevine sales of $1095.00 and literature sales of $30,000. I don't know if that tells you anything.
Hi Bob,
Thanks for the information. Interesting, but I need more information to make it mean something.
Like, what is the rate of increase or decrease over, say, the last 20 years?
And what percentage of the total sales does Suffolk County have?
Still, I like collecting factoids. They add up after a while.
What I just read somewhere recently was that Grapevine sales are down by 25 or 30 percent
overall. I'd like to get that verified.
I am a member of the newcomer rescue league. I tell people there is no difference in the recovery rate for people who join aa and those who do not and I get little reaction. When I say the death rate is greater for people who attend aa they react. I am not sure what they are thinking but they say nothing and soon walk away. I no longer talk about the death rate. If only 5% remain after one year does it pay to continue?
Thanks for being a member of the
NRL.
Yes, isn't it funny how the word "death" gets their attention?
Bill Wilson used that same attention-grabber in the Big Book, a lot.
The walking away part is typical of cults.
We were just talking about that
in a previous letter.
Cult members are taught to just stop communicating, or "disconnect", when they
are presented with irrefutable information that is critical of the cult.
They just clam up and walk away, or run away.
I believe you are correct. The dagger in the heart will be to stop the feeder system. I cringe when anyone says they thank aa for saving their life. Whenever I get the chance I tell people they saved their own life and to read the Orange-Papers.org. I also tell them if they do not agree with you to send their thoughts to you and you will reply. AA's are a strange bunch. I told one man at an aa meeting about your site and his first reply was to ask when did I first read the site. That is what he is used to from the continuing references/competition of sober dates. I will admit I wish I knew the answer to that question and when I sent you my first email.
I just did a quick search of old email, and the earliest letter from you that I found
was Mon, July 27, 2009. That is assuming that you didn't change your email address.
The whole question of "When did you first read the site?" strikes me as odd. What does
that have to do with anything? The date when somebody first read my site has no connection to
what their sober date is, of course. So is there a new game of one-upmanship where
people brag about when they first read the Orange Papers? Unreal. No, that can't be.
Again, the whole A.A. thing about getting rid of ego is such a sham.
A.A. meetings are loaded with ego and status games.
The only thing they don't do is put stripes on their arms to show how
many years of sobriety they have.
(But in Narcotics Anonymous, they make chains out of their sobriety keytags, and hang them
from their belts. The guy with the longest chain has the highest status.
It is common practice to write your own telephone number on a meeting list and give it to someone. I now write your web site address instead of my number. I try to remain a secret agent by telling people not to tell others who gave them your address. I doubt that works but I cannot recite your message so I give the web site. I have not been confronted but if I ever am I will tell them the truth. Thank you for all you do Long Island Bob O.
Hi Bob,
Thanks for the thanks. And thanks for keeping the faith.
Have a good day, and a good life now.
== Orange
keep coming back pal...lol
Hello Orange, I've been thinking of writing you for some time now. I discovered orange-papers.info some months ago having gone sober for over six months at that point. First I want to complement you on your thoroughness and logical approach. After spending many hours reading through the extensive material on your Website I began to feel hope that my misgivings about AA had some valid basis, and indeed were not just evidence of my being "in denial" and on a "dry drunk". So: Thank You! It is now over 17 months since my last drinking (although some hardcore AA'ers would disagree — I have ingested minuscule quantities in medicine or the occasional non-alcoholic beer with dinner — that would equate to less than 2 cc of ethanol). So lets start with that question. Drinking an occasional NA beer has not "triggered" me, cause me to "romanticize the binge", relapse, or any of the other dire warnings I hear from AA. That being said, if I found that I had subsequent "cravings" or "thoughts" of drink I would avoid it. I'm interested in your opinion on that point.
Hi Mark,
Thank you for the letter and the compliments.
Personally, I avoid no-alcohol beer because when I tried the stuff about 22 years ago,
I found myself slipping right back into the old habits, and I chugged a six-pack of the stuff
in a few hours. I heard of another guy having the same problem. His girlfriend complained
that he started "pounding" the stuff. He was chugging the beers nonstop.
She could see the monster reawakening before her eyes.
Still, neither of us "triggered" and suddenly started guzzling real alcohol.
But I don't consider it a "relapse", or departure from sobriety to have one of those beers,
even though there is a tiny amount of alcohol remaining in them.
Some other things that contain tiny amounts of alcohol are extracts of almond and vanilla,
which I like to flavor my coffee with. I only use a few drops of the stuff in a cup of coffee,
and the hot coffee makes the alcohol evaporate instantly, so the actual amount of alcohol
consumed is vanishly small.
No way are you going to get drunk on that. (And no, I don't get triggered.)
By the way, one of the things that is loaded with alcohol is fresh-baked bread.
And yet, I haven't heard of any tirades against bread.
Honestly I stopped drinking initially because the consequences had become unacceptable to me (one of them being a DUI arrest @ 0.08 BAC). The DUI I can reasonably ascribe to a combination of poor judgment and "wrong place, wrong time". But there was other evidence like a marriage that was headed towards divorce, health issues, and underlying depression. I think there are often underlying issues. I mean, why does somebody need alcohol or drugs to feel good and be happy? So with my "ass on fire" so to speak I decided to try something different in hopes of having different (better) outcomes. At 5 days sober I enrolled myself (not court ordered) in an IOP program. 3 hour sessions 3 times per week for 8 weeks. I guess I was lucky (or blessed) that the outfit I picked was NOT a Hardcore 12-Step program. Instead they presented useful scientific information on some of the biochemical aspects of dependency/abuse. Also REBT, limbic system "lizard brain" theory, etc. and individual counseling sessions where I could explore unresolved "core issues" which long predated my "hitting bottom" experience(s). They did NOT try to tear me down so they could "build me back up" or any of that kind of sick nonsense horror stories I've heard about. That is indeed fortunate. Altogether I found it a very positive, helpful and uplifting experience. And the facility is not just in it for the money. I can and do attend occasionally since "graduating" from the IOP and that is free of charge for any graduate of their program. Unlike AA, they offer real solutions. One thing they did do was suggest that I talk to a doctor knowledgeable about drug therapies like Naltrexone to help reduce cravings during the early months of recovery from alcohol dependence. I ended up taking Naltrexone for about the first 7 months, then tapering off it over the eighth month. I'm cautious against endorsing it because honestly I don't have a basis for comparison what those first 7-8 months would have been like without Naltrexone but I can tell you I experience no ill side effects AND I can honestly say I experience very little in the way of "cravings". That has remained true since I stopped Naltrexone. In the end I guess I am grateful that I had it in my "recovery arsenal". Yes. That sounds good. Personally, my experience with Natrexone is zero. I didn't use anything to quit alcohol, although I used nicotine patches to quit smoking. So that has pretty much worked well for me. Unfortunately the Authorities did eventually press charges on the DUI, and I ended up copping a plea deal which mandated Regular Attendance at AA meetings, at least for a few more months as of this letter. So here I find myself at AA meetings feeling conflicted, alienated, frustrated. Outside the meetings themselves I am now most of the time Happy, Hopeful, nay daresay sometime even Serene. Oh Yes, I have my Health back, my Relationship with my Wife and Son are better than they've ever been, my Employer now sings praise about me... But when I try to share in AA about Unconscious Belief Systems that drive Conscious Thoughts that fuels Emotions that precede Behaviors that result in Negative Consequences ... well the pitying looks of incomprehension and disbelief I get from the AA Faithful, and their responses like "well keep coming back" and "just work the steps". I actually found a few AA Meeting-goers that in private acknowledged understanding what I was saying, but they won't say that In Meeting for fear of being ostracized. AND I have NOT Worked The Steps, NOR had a Sponsor in over a year now. "Oh My... Tsk Tsk poor fellow, doomed to Relapse any second now." LOL!
Coincidentally, I just got another letter and reference to a web page that has a
great answer to the A.A. coercion: Start up your own A.A. meeting. For real. The A.A. rules
say that the only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to quit drinking.
And any two or more A.A. members constitute an A.A. meeting. (It's a copy of Jesus's line
about "Whenever two or more are gathered together in my name...")
So register your own meeting, like the "B.B. Group". (Meaning, not "Big Book", but
"Bill's Bonkers".)
And spend an hour talking about how wonderful it is to be sober without rotting your
brain with a cult religion.
There is no rule that says that you must begin an A.A. meeting by reading aloud the plastic-laminated
scriptures from pages 58 through 60 of the Big Book. That is just a custom that
developed later, over the years. They didn't do that in the beginning, because there wasn't
any Big Book in the beginning. And not all meetings do it now.
Likewise, in the beginning, they didn't read The Traditions at the start of every meeting, because there weren't
any. Bill had not made up the new fake "traditions" yet.
And there is no rule that says that you must endorse Bill Wilson or the Big Book.
There is no rule that says that you must preach the 12 Steps, or do them. Remember that
Bill wrote on page 59 that the 12 Steps were suggested as a program of recovery. So I choose
to not take the suggestion. I have better, and saner, methods.
In fact, there is no rule that says that you can't bring in all of the things that you found
helpful at that other IOP program. There isn't really any rule that says that you can't
read things that are not "Council-approved". The ban on "not Council-approved" literature
at A.A. meetings is just a narrow-minded custom.
There is also no rule that says that you can't schedule meetings
for 4 A.M., when nobody will attend.
See the link
here.
In any case it felt good to finally vent!
Best, p.s. Having gone through my teens and early twenties with my parents pressuring me into est seminars and all sorts of other New Age cultish psychobabble B.S. I guess I will always be suspicious of Cults (like AA).
Yes. My experiences with cults in the 'sixties and 'seventies are what made me
soon aware of the cultish aspects of A.A. and N.A.
Have a good day now, and a good life.
== Orange
Last updated 20 January 2015. |