Date: Sat, October 5, 2013 2:01 am (answered 5 October 2013) Hi Orange, I'm a PhD student and uni lecturer (Aussie btw) on religious fundamentalist terrorists and have read & taught stuff on cults and power-crazed fascists and/or religious nutters for years and years. Also child of, sibling of, friend of, wife of, in-law of addicts (mostly horrendously abused children of course) of all colours. Your site is without question, the most insightful and comprehensive I have ever read. You are truly a god amongst men for the work you have done here. Many, many thanks!!! (registered as) exhaustedwife
Hello Exhausted Wife,
Thank you for all of the compliments.
I try to do good work.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Fri, October 4, 2013 8:14 pm (answered 7 October 2013) Hello Terrance — Anon here again. Whatever Richard Maybury may think, the British Empire was still around for a good half-century after Prime Minister William Ewart Gladstone (1809-1898) departed this life. Some important dates. It was only in the late 1940s that the Union Jack came down in Palestine and India. Ghana became independent in 1957. And Harold Macmillan delivered his prophetic "Wind of Change" speech in Capetown, South Africa, in February 1960, signalling a general African emergence from colonial status. As to Gladstone — in the words of Harvard historian Crane Brinton ("A History of Civilization," 1960), he "regretted and no doubt even neglected the Empire; but he kept it." If RM is untrustworthy about such matters as these, what else, you wonder, can he be getting wrong? ***************** TH — if you want to use the above, that's fine, but I'd prefer that it not get personal. Re-write it as you please and call me "Anon" if that's allowed. That's because RM strikes me as an out-and-out crackpot. His language is a dead giveaway. I was in the newspaper business for 30 years and believe me I know the type. Can't be argued with.
Okay, Anon,
Thanks for the information. What I find really interesting is the possibility
that someone can be a crackpot and also be correct about something. There is no
doubt that the empires are coming down. The old Soviet Union has fallen apart.
And yes, the British Empire is gone. And the American Empire (which many Americans
insist does not exist) is also rapidly disintegrating. At the same time, the
Chinese would love to build up their own empire. But the world may run out of oil
just in time to prevent that. The future is going to be very interesting.
(Remember that "May you live in interesting times" was an old Chinese curse.)
By the way, PBS (Public Broadcasting System, i.e. television) just ran a series here
about Queen Victoria and it featured the Gladstone versus Desraeli rivalry, and
described how whether the British empire expanded depended on which of them was
Prime Minister. And how Prince Albert was against expansion of the empire, but
he died, which totally changed British history, because Albert was replaced by
Desraeli as Queen Victoria's advisor and close friend, and Desraeli was very
pro-empire. So it goes.
It's frightening how the course of history can be altered by a germ.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Mon, October 7, 2013 3:11 pm (answered 8 October 2013) Hey orange, Good to read some stories here, I thought I was alone. My now ex partner who I had known for almost thirty years decided after a breakdown due to synthetic marijuana and alcohol addictions to join aa. Of course I thought this was great, however after about a week they told her I was a trigger? Even though I don't smoke any sort of drugs and only drink socially. They then went as far as saying sex and even seeing me was a trigger and to leave me asap. I told her I understand and have tried to stay out of her life. She has changed drastically, to the point I don't feel I know her any more, and all she talks about is the 12 steps always texting me saying I'm an alcoholic and trying to give me advice. I have had to delete her off my phone, facebook and even email. She is a zombie brainwashed by bullshit and I'll never get my girl back. AA sucks. Regards Cj
Hello CJ,
Thank you for the letter. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Alas, that story is
so commonplace. I've heard it so many times. Crazy A.A. members actively seek
to destroy new members' outside relationships — that is, any relationship
that is not with another A.A. member. That is just standard cult behavior —
socially isolate the new members.
Then
they make the new members obsessed with the cult.
It becomes their whole life. Cult members walk around reciting the cult's
"holy dogma", and they spend all of their time in meetings, or
"Bible study" (or whatever book is the cult's "holy book"), or recruiting,
or fund-raising.
And
outsiders are the enemy.
You will "trigger her", they say. In other cults, they would say that you
tempt her to sin, and lead her away from Heaven, or distract her from the goal,
or make her forget her dreams, or pollute her with impure and insane thoughts, or some such thing.
(By the way, if you click on the above links, they will take you to questions in
the Cult Test.
You can go to the answers for A.A. by clicking on the number of the question.)
Then
apophenia
sets in and they see everybody who takes an occasional drink as a hard-core
alcoholic who is in need of their program of salvation.
By the way, they say that you having sex with her is supposedly a trigger? But I'd bet that
their next lesson for her
is that sex with them is not a trigger. What a bunch of digusting creeps.
Oh yes, that is all standard A.A. behavior.
I wish I had some easy magic bullet to fix the problem, but I don't. Once the cult gets its claws
into somebody, it really has her. It may take years for her to get out.
She is not listening to reason because she does not want to.
They have convinced her that
to question A.A. dogma is to die.
And
A.A. is the only way to survive.
I'm adding this story to
the list of A.A. Horror Stories.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Sat, October 12, 2013 9:42 am (answered 16 October 2013) AA works......if you work it. People fail because they don't work the program. Sent from my Windows Phone
Hello Annette,
Thank you for the letter. That subject line is very revealing. It sounds like you have
quite a resentment there. Didn't Bill Wilson say something about how you cannot have
a resentment?
So I guess you need to work on that resentment while you are "working the program".
Speaking of which, how do you define "working the program"?
Lots of Steppers parrot that line about working the program, but they don't say what they mean.
So what do you have to do to work the program?
That is nonsense, of course. It's like saying that you have to eat vanilla ice cream in order
to eat vanilla ice cream.
On the other hand, if you don't have to quit drinking in order to work the program, then
how does the program make people quit drinking?
So what do you mean when you say, "work the program"?
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Thu, October 17, 2013 3:07 pm No resentment here, "ass hole" it's your new nickname! I'll pray for you, since you are so sick (that's in the BB too). Sent from my Windows Phone
Date: Sat, October 12, 2013 9:08 am (answered 17 October 2013) Hi, I was looking for alternative information about A.A. and I came across your website, which I love. I'm doing an essay for a class, concerning Alcoholics Anonymous and I love everything that you have written, however, I have ran into a problem, my instructor has told me that I can not validate your website because it has no information on the author, such as background studies, this is exactly what she posted to me.
[This source cannot be used because it is impossible to determine who A. Orange is, what is professional and educational background is, or what qualifies him as an expert in the topic. I found his site; he or she offers no profile or explanationof expertise. Nor could I find his biography by searching on Google.] Is there any place that I can find your information so I can use what you have found for my essay. Either way I can validate the information, but I'd rather give you the acknowledgement for finding all of the sources. I would really appreciate it and would of course be willing to donate to your cause.
Thank you,
Hello Sara,
Thanks for the question. Actually, I've included a lot of autobiographical information in
the web site, more than I wanted to, really, because the web site is about A.A. and recovery
from alcohol abuse, not about me. The biographical information is just spread out here and there.
My birth name is Terrance Hodgins, and I'm a 66-year-old guy who lives in Forest Grove, Oregon,
which is a small town west of Portland.
And I'll have 13 years of sobriety in three more days. That includes 13 years off
of drugs and cigarettes too.
Here is a list of pieces of autobiographical information.
The most complete autobiography is the one written for SOS.
Oh by the way, speaking of credentials, definitely read the file
The Effectiveness of the Twelve-Step Treatment,
because it is loaded with doctors' and professors' reports on the ineffectiveness of A.A.
and 12-Step treatment.
Even if your teacher won't let you quote me because she doesn't like my credentials,
you can quote the people in that file
because they all have letters like "M.D." and "Ph.D." after their names.
Have a good day now, and good luck with your work.
== Orange
Date: Mon, October 14, 2013 7:19 pm (answered 18 October 2013) Orange, many of the DUI teachers in California have criminal records and the owners don't bother to run a background check. Some of them are very dangerous and students have no idea that their counselor has criminal record.
Date: Tue, October 15, 2013 8:13 am (answered 18 October 2013) Most people who get one DUI are not alcoholic and they are forced into 6 AA meetings and have to sit and listen to 12 step counselors who are very often felons as their DUI teachers in class. The school owners don't run back ground checks on these counselors. Most of the teachers just spew AA jargon. No regular business would hire these people but people who are caught drinking and driving have to suffer months listening to these ignorant cult members. Please do not include my name due to revenge by AA members.
Hello S.,
Thanks for the letters. I can only totally agree. "Drug and Alcohol Counselor" is often the
only job for which those burned-out old alcoholics and drug addicts are qualified.
All that they can do is jabber slogans about addiction and recovery, and imagine that they
have some great wisdom.
And to get "qualified" to be a licensed D+A counselor, they only have to
take a course of training that teaches them how to recruit for Alcoholics Anonymous
and Narcotics Anonymous.
Heck, my "counselor" in outpatient "drug and alcohol treatment"
here in Portland jabbered 12-Step slogans at us,
And then he went home and
snorted cocaine and
looked at child pornography on his computer and then raped his step-children.
And the taxpayers actually paid for all of that.
They busted him, and convicted him, and shipped him off to the state penitentiary.
Yes, that was quite an education I got at taxpayer expense.
The situation really has to improve.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Mon, October 14, 2013 2:54 pm (answered 18 October 2013) User: born2kill Wow! Note the similarity to your response to Agent Green!!! Holy hole in a doughnut!
Disturbing Experience in AA chat room
About the respect, the only one to comment on is the years of sobriety. You are displaying a typical A.A. attitude where people are worth more if they have more years of sobriety. I reject that idea, even though I now rate as one of the "holy old-timers". The virtue of a person is not determined by how many years he has abstained from drinking alcohol. Heck, even Jesus Christ turned water into wine and drank it.
Hello David,
You are authorized in the forum now. Welcome.
About the A.A. game of one-upmanship — yes, they still do that, don't they? They aren't about
to knock it off. Heck, many years of sober time (or claimed sober time) is the only rank
and status that some of them have in their lives. And it's sad that they feel so inadequate that
they have to flaunt it and lord it over newcomers.
Oh, and coincidentally, in two more days I'll have 13 years sober and off of drugs too. And in
three more weeks, 13 years off of cigarettes. I must be almost a God now. :-)
J.R. Harris saw that same A.A. put-down of the newcomer and posted it in the forum, here;
The one thing that puzzles me is, "Don't the old A.A. members get it? Can't they see that they
are driving people away from A.A. by treating newcomers like that? Are they blind?"
No wonder A.A. is shrinking.
So much for A.A. offering the newcomers unconditional love and wise, compassionate, advice and counseling.
Oh well, have a good day anyway.
== Orange
Date: Tue, October 15, 2013 5:23 pm (answered 15 October 2013)
From: "Denise" Hi, my user name is Denise. I look forward to reading more and being able to contribute. Thanks, Denise
Okay Denise,
Hi Orange, I look forward to reading on this great site. Been sober 25hrs and literally have had little to no depression since I started the deprogramming process about two weeks ago. I really had no idea, although, I've questioned aa for years. I just thought it was the only way. That I'd be doomed to drink without it. Thank you, Denise
BLOG NOTE: 15 October 2013:
I found another mention of
the Lizard Brain here, in a commentary
on the government shutdown:
http://org2.salsalabs.com/dia/track.jsp?v=2&c=LoZjzvT4hzYrZQn1O3rYUHGstv7ajLp7
Yes.
Date: Tue, October 15, 2013 9:23 pm (answered 19 October 2013) Hello A. Orange, Are you an alcoholic? If so, were you able to stop drinking without AA? If so, do you feel content in your life without alcohol or do you long to drink and actively fight the urge? Any information would be helpful. Thanks Sent from my iPad
Hello Erin,
Thanks for the letter and the questions. And the answer to pretty much every question is "yes".
When I call myself an alcoholic, I usually mean definition 2, and only occasionally
definition 1, but never definitions 3 or 4.
I totally reject the entire A.A. program and their goofy ideas that unconfessed sins make you
drink alcohol, and if you confess enough, God will make you quit drinking.
And you must "surrender to God", which really means that you must surrender to your sponsor
and the other A.A. elders and do what they say.
And don't take medications, trust the 12 Steps to heal you.
And
you are just a disgusting sinner,
full of selfishness and resentments, and
you are manipulative and always wanting to do it your way, and you
are dishonest and in denial.
That is crazy. That is raving insanity. That is just
Dr. Frank Buchman's old cult religion from
the nineteen-thirties.
And I haven't been to an A.A. meeting in almost 12 years. After about 3 months of exposure to
A.A., I said that I didn't need it, it's just a crazy cult, and only went
to meetings to pick up sobriety coins as they came due. The one-year coin is the
last one that I ever went and got.
What helped me a lot in the beginning was coming to understand
the Lizard Brain Addiction Monster.
That is the primitive part of the base brain that just wants food and sex and feel-goods all
of the time.
He will always insist that having just one is okay, and we deserve to relax and feel good tonight.
It doesn't matter whether he wants sex or food or a cigarette or a hit of dope or a drink,
he always wants "a little something". Remember Pooh Bear? As he hungrily rubbed his belly,
he said, "I just need a little something."
Discovering what the Lizard Brain's game was,
and how he would try to fool me into thinking that his thoughts
were my thoughts, and his desires were my desires, helped me a lot to detach from those thoughts
and desires and refute them.
When you realize that the urges and desires and thoughts
in your head are really just the yammering of a thirsty toad
brain who is actually very stupid, then they lose their power over you.
So go ahead and click on this link and learn about him:
the Lizard Brain Addiction Monster.
Also, I wrote up this reply three years ago, about the time that I got 10 years of
sobriety, and it's still true:
How did you get to where you are?
Have a good day, and a good life now, and don't hesitate to write back if you have more
questions. You can also join the forum if you want more people to chat with, and another
way to ask questions and discuss ideas.
== Orange
Date: Tue, October 15, 2013 10:08 pm (answered 19 October 2013) Hi Terrance, It has been a while since I last wrote. I keep reading your web site after now about two years, and still I am amazed. I had been in AA/Al-Anon for over 18 years and found for the last couple years I attended that I felt like a trained parrot repeating the same bullshit over and over. I stopped attending meetings in October of 2011 because I just could not keep repeating that same crap over and over. Each time I 'shared' it felt empty and did not ring true any more. I am so glad that I was able to step away from it all and even more glad that nobody pursued me to ask why I left. No one even called me for almost a year! So go the great friendships of the program. I guess I had a lot of acquaintances who I thought were my friends. Your web site has really been an eye opener for me about the cult called AA. I have been reading other web sites and came across this one describing the 13th step problem in AA => http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-13th-step It sure is a nightmare that the justice system (if you can actually call it that) sentences many fairly normal people to AA and exposes them to the unbelievable collection of criminals and sociopaths that attend meetings. I am sure glad that I did not ever become a victim in these meetings to the hustling and scheming members. However I always viewed the people there with a lot of caution, and I did not leave my critical thinking skills 'at the door'. Somehow I could never believe folks who said that they were instantly transformed to become so wonderful when they would describe their seedy past lives during their 'shares'. Keep up the great work on the web site, and thanks for helping me to better understand and deal with the brainwashing that I got from all of those years of attending meetings. Life is too short to keep dwelling on the past and to watch the passing parade of AA failures.
Best Regards,
Hello Kurt,
Thank you for the letter and the compliments, and I'm glad to hear that you are doing well.
About the 13th-Stepping movie: Yes, a woman named "Massive" is working on that. She was also
another A.A. oldtimer with a zillion years, who saw through it all one day and quit A.A.,
and now she's trying to tell the world about it. She needs more money to complete the movie,
so if anyone can chip in a few bucks, please do.
This forum thread is relevant, too:
I agree that sentencing people to A.A. is a nightmare. It's bad enough that it is illegal
and unConstitutional to sentence people to a religion, but to send youths into the Devil's Den
where they can be sexually exploited is inexcusable.
Judges should be impeached and disbarred for doing that.
Sending youths to A.A. and N.A. meetings is actually counter-productive.
The youths get a higher education in drugs and alcohol from going to A.A. and N.A.
meetings. The hardened old reprobates teach the youths all kinds of things that the kids didn't
know about drugs and alcohol. Many of the youths didn't even know about all of the hard
drugs that are available until the oldtimers taught them the ways of the world, and introduced
them to the "grown-up" stuff.
And that is really to be expected, when the judges and parole officers are routinely sending hardened
old criminals to A.A. as part of their parole. The criminals don't always suddenly get holy; they
often pull others down to their level.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Thu, October 17, 2013 1:09 pm (answered 19 October 2013) Hey. My username is Bumr50 and just wanted to drop by and leave some commentary from a Catholic who can't stand AA. For reals. Even if you don't get to this, I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the effort. You're objective, and don't bash either religious adherents OR atheists which I've found to be a problem when trying to find discussion sites about how ridiculous AA is, and how attending AA meetings (for me) is one of the surest ways to depress me and send me on a bender. Cheers! Jim B.
Hello Jim,
You are in. Welcome.
Thank you for the compliments. I try to be fair and even-handed on the subject of religion.
I am neither an agnostic nor an atheist. More like a bit of a mystic. I know that there is
more to this Universe than meets the eye. As Baba Ram Dass put it, "The physical universe
is only a tiny part of the Cosmos."
At the same time, I like atheists because they are almost always far more truthful
and realistic than the crazy cult true believers who drank the koolaid.
Ah, how to walk that fine line inbetween? It reminds me of the old Zen stories about the difficulty
of rolling a sewing needle down a thread.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Thu, October 17, 2013 3:16 pm (answered 19 October 2013) "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the Earth." Then he made the Earth round. And he laughed and laughed and laughed."
Thanks for the cosmic wisdom, and a good laugh.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Thu, October 17, 2013 3:33 pm (answered 19 October 2013)
And all this time we've been blaming ourselves. Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an Event Boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale. Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's that damn door! Did I send this to you already?
Hello again, Ctmjon,
Thank you. Finally, the answer to my problems. I'm not getting older. There are just more doors.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Date: Fri, October 18, 2013 11:30 am (answered 19 October 2013) AA certainly has it's faults. We could fuck-up a two car funeral. Keep up the good work.
Max
Hello Max,
Thanks for the compliments.
And you have a good day too.
== Orange
Date: Fri, October 18, 2013 1:30 pm (answered 19 October 2013) http://www.orange-papers.info/orange-aalies.html Truth is that AA works for me. And I am unwilling to risk another way. Life is really good. I did find the site informative and eye opening, and it does make me think. In many places it is exactly correct. There is a schizophrenia about the disease concept, about character defects, etc. I think as the program matures these things will smooth out. It is a human enterprise, and humans are fallible.
Hello Jonathan,
Thank you for the letter and the compliments. I'm glad to hear that you are doing well.
About the "schizophrenia", I think those things are actually places where the A.A. dogma
contradicts itself. And alas, A.A. has already "matured". The growth period is over and
A.A. is shrinking now. So I don't believe that those problems will ever get fixed.
A.A. will simply fade away, and will be replaced by other things.
But you will be okay. You don't really need A.A. telling you that you are
diseased and cannot ever recover. It sounds like you have actually
already recovered.
Have a good day now.
== Orange
Last updated 30 May 2014. |